Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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