Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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