I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
