Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
