Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He passed out mid-signature
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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