WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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