You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
