I cockslap morals
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
