is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
