So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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