are you still at the devil's house?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
