Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
