Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
