I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
