And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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