All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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