I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
