just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
