Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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