I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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