So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
