i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
