508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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