Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
