Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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