You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
