But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
