Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
