Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
