He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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