have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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