Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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