dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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