Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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