I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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