all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
