I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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