absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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