It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
