he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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