Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
