maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
