Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
