Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
