That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
