shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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