So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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