She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
