I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
