Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
