I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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