It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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