He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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