I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
